I saw a meme once that said something like, “When you’re having a bad day, just remember…you’re not fourteen anymore.” I was reminded the other day of the comical accuracy of that statement when I thought it would be fun to pull out my old journals. From the time I was about thirteen years old I kept a journal religiously. Every. Single. Day.
Just a tip to young teenage girls out there?
Don’t.
Unless you are writing about special, spiritual experiences or perhaps keeping a scripture journal, please do yourself a favor and resist the temptation to try to become the next Anne Frank of adolescent awkwardness. Because while she was a compelling orator of a unique coming of age perspective and had an essence of maturity and understanding beyond her years, you will just be spewing out a hyper-hormonal log of boy crazy obsession that will be appreciated for years to come by exactly nobody. In fact, even you will probably want to burn said records and will only resist such urges because the idea of that many trees having sacrificed their existence for your senseless scribbles is slightly immoral.
When I decided to look back in these journals, I was actually hoping to find what I had written about my first experience reading through the Book of Mormon. I was hoping to read it for a Relief Society lesson I was planning. I never found the desired passage because I got so distracted and consequently disgusted by all the garbage I was reading in the process! Oh, for goodness sake. I think I was must have been in love with at least seventeen boys at a time for about two years there. And that is all I talked about. Ever. Oh, unless I was complaining about some “despicable” thing my best friend had done, which in and of itself was shocking. I had a best friend? Really? How did I have any friends at all? Who could stand to spend more than 45 seconds with me? I felt like barfing after reading just a few paragraphs of this! Can I please just apologize to anyone who knew me at such an unfortunate time in my life? I am so sorry.
Oh yes, whenever you think you’re having a bad day, just remember…you’re not fourteen anymore!
Unless you’re this kid…
Do boys just get to bypass the extreme awkwardness of pubescent life? Do they not have to look back with shock and embarrassment at the hormone induced moments of emotional expression that seemed to occur basically every day?
This one seems to be skating by with scarcely a mark of indiscretion. Sure, he has his faults. Sometimes his rough play with his little brothers gets a little too…rough. And sometimes he misuses his screen time privileges and gets a little grumpy. Oh, and one time he stayed after school with some friends playing air soft gun wars and didn’t call for permission first. But gosh…this is one easy, awesome teenager to manage:).
We got to celebrate him recently:).
For his 14th birthday he picked a Rudy’s style Texas BBQ dinner. Note the butcher paper in place of plates.
Sometimes moms must make concessions. 
It’s hard to get serious pictures anymore. The odds are so much against me. Every time. 
My Talmage is responsible, a willing worker, a helpful and kind big brother, creative, smart, capable, athletic, thoughtful, respectful, and sweet.
A few weeks ago when he was away on an Aaronic Priesthood hiking camp out, I started to feel some pangs of missing him. So I wandered into his bedroom to feel a bit of my boy. I sat on his bed and looked around his room at all his things. BYU posters and memorabilia don the walls and furniture. Collections of hand carved Harry Potter wands and duct tape wallet supplies sit neatly organized on his desk. And on his end table closest to his bed lay his Book of Mormon and… a journal. I remember giving him that journal when he turned eight and had rarely seen it out. He isn’t much of a writer. I picked it up and was surprised to see a few pages filled, maybe seven or eight. I wondered what sort of content I would find. What girl would he be writing about? I read. And I cried. This boy knows what matters. This boy has a testimony of the gospel. This boy has thoughts and feelings and an understanding of what is most important in life. There was nothing about girls or friends or school. Only a record of sacred moments he doesn’t want to forget. And though he doesn’t know it, now he has shared one with me.
What a gift this boy is to me. <3
You were my friend when we were 14. You were one of the coolest chicks I knew! And I felt honored and privileged that you wanted to be my friend too! Talmage seems like an awesome kid, I mean young man! I wish our kids knew each other. Hopefully someday we can all meet up!
Well, thank you:). And I’d love to meet up someday! That would be wonderful!
First of all, do not be embarrassed about what you wrote as a young teenager. You were normal! What a great opportunity to look back into your 14 year old mind. So you chose to write about boys etc. So you didn’t write about your music development, to which you devoted hours and hours every week, or your spiritual development which you addressed devotedly. Trust me, you are not alone. You were a great young woman who had all the fears and insecurities and concerns of most young women your age. We felt about you, the way you feel about Talmage. And yes, he is one fantastic young man. We are so often amazed at the latest manifestation of some latent talent that has emerged, or is emerging. We are proud of his spiritual growth. We love him. And you.
Aw, thank you mother:). I can always count on you to give me a boost <3.